I'm in a ranting mood. WLS Issues.
Why a TX Doc doesn't do Gastric Bypass.

My brain is all over the place. So, here's a post.

I'm not doing well.  I'm eating poorly.  I'm not eating bad foods, just too much.  I was just sitting here - thinking about what I'd had today that caused me such distress, and I can't figure it out, because I ate so much.  Let me see if I can lay it out here:

  • 4 oz cottage cheese (90 cals)
  • 4 oz cottage cheese (90 cals)
  • 1/2 Pure Protein Chocolate Deluxe Bar (100 cals)
  • 2 Twist String Cheeses (140 cals)
  • 100 Calorie Pack Granola Bar (100 cals)
  • 1 Blue Bunny NSA Almond Bar (100 cals)
  • 2 slices Light Wheat Toast (80 cals)
  • 3 Whole Grain Rice Cakes (120 cals)
  • 1/2C+ Brown Rice + Black eyed peas + 1 bite spinach (??? cals)
  • 1 Skinny Cow Sandwich (140 cals)
  • 1/2 Choco perfection Sugar Free Dark Chocolate Bar (100 cals)

Okay, once written out - it looks like about 1200 calories, I'll up-stimate it to about 1500 if I've forgotten anything.  It's not horribly bad, no, but, you have to know, this is what grazing looks like for me.  This was eating a little something All Day Long, from 6:30am till 7:30pm.  Yeah, there's nothing on this list that's entirely naughty, either, and it's all "good choices."  But, it's a "bad day" for me.  Why?  Because, of course, I woke up with "diet-head" thinking - "Today is a new day, a fresh start, let's do this.  Go protein, go!"  And, then, I start well, and then I'm hungry.  I even tried to fend of the beast by taking not one, but TWO walks outside with the kids.  This is the way I've been eating lately - and the scale is going in the wrong direction.  I have an appetite, man, and since I started the birth control pills two weeks ago, I'm freaking "stahhhhving."  (That's a head thing, I'm sure.)  All of a sudden, I'm like, "Mmm, toast?"  Bread?! Rice?!  Let's eat!

You should know - eating like THIS makes me fat.  I'm not losing, I'm gaining.  I need to stop.  It really sucks that I can gain weight on 1500 calories, but I can!  I'm talented like that.  Anyways - I won't say that I've got a plan - because - I've got to do this thing day by day.  My goal still is the same - I just keep pushing the date up.  My goal is now to reach goal before I'm dead.  How's that?  I'm not going to promise anything - I'm not going to say I'm going to "start tomorrow" because that kind of thinking sets us up to fail, big time.  I'm just going to have to work at this - harder, because this half-assed poop (there, two in one sentence) isn't ****ing working (there, three!) for me.

In other news:  You, my dear internet, are looking for? 

magnify this user ip70-176-159-119.ph.ph.cox.net (Cox Communications) [Label IP Address]

Arizona,  Phoenix,  United States, 0 returning visits

Date Time WebPage
26th April 2007 19:15:05 www.google.com/search?q=pictures of bariatric patients naked&hl=en&rlz=1T4TSHA_en___US207&start=10&sa=N

That's hot.  I hope you didn't find those photos here.   Well, you might have.

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