If you are fat and you know it, vote for McCain?
Just saving information for future reference. "Misdiagnosis of epilepsy: many seizure-like attacks have a cardiovascular cause."

It would only happen to me.

You wouldn't even believe me if I told you.  It would only happen to me, because I am a fucking moron, and I allowed it.

The one time I allow a "salesperson" in my front door?

Two young adults were canvassing for Kirby vacuums, or at least I believed they were.

Sentria® home care systems are sold in over 70 countries around the world by independent Kirby Distributors. These professional business men and women are happy to schedule a personal demonstration for you to view our product, assist you with the maintenance of your current Kirby system, and provide you with our complete line of home care products.

To purchase a Kirby vacuum system contact an Independent Kirby Distributor near you.

To find Distributor near you, check your local yellow pages, or call us at:

1-800-437-7170 United States and Canada

I agreed, only to allow them to clean my front steps.  I asked them if they had secured a license from the Town for canvassing and door-to-door sales.

"Yes, ma'am!"

I have. never. ever. allowed. anyone. in. my. house. ever. 

Not even under a religious guise, in fact, send the witnesses over, send anybody over, I could use the love of Jesus.  SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS I HAVE SEEN IT ALL.  SAVE ME. 

So, MM says no thank to Kirby.  It's not in her budget, ever.  Mr. Kirby gets it, he's not in this two week old job for the money, he's got Big Dreams.  He has to call his Boss on my phone to tell him this.  This great and powerful Oz on the phone yells at Mr. Kirby salesman.  Tells him he has to sell this machine to me.

Then, the guy comes here.

What the fuck is this aggressive sales tactic of sending a 20 year old kid to intimidate your Mama into buying a Kirby?  No.  I don't want it.  He goes outside, leaving the salesman here "to pack up."  This guys leaves him here, in my home.   

I ask, "Where did your ride go - aren't you leaving?"   

The salesman says that this is how they work, they pack up, try to make a deal, the ride goes and and finishes another job, and then they come back.  So, he has to wait for his ride.  He chats about his life, about his future plans, he gets on the cellphone to bet on the Sox game, and then he tells me about the wild thing that happened to him yesterday at a Kirby job that turned into = working for someone on craigslist.  (Yes, that is REALLY THE SAME MAN.)  He walked into someone's house yesterday, and this potential customer hired HIM to be a Male Escort.  She took him to Wal*Mart, bought him a Pay As You Go Phone, and there you go, he's in bidness. 

This poor guy.

I pace, I hold my phone in my hand.  I pace.  SAVE ME.  SOMEONE.  GET ME OUT OF HERE.

I start to dial the police (not necessarily on him, but for the fact that they abandoned this poor soul here) when, they (the peeps in the white van) come back and take him away.

I called the police.  "Kirby" did not have a license to solicit this area today.  MM is just a fucking idiot, and I was taken advantage of, because it was crazy here, I had five kids in my house, and they seemed "decent."  I am normally a very cynical bitch, and this is why.

Dsc_1279

If it's any consolation?  I told the the "sales manager" that my spouse was a homicidal maniac, twice.  And, my dog, she will eat you.

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