School starts for the big kids next week, and last night I hit the middle school to grab paperwork and get the quick tour during the open house. As it was, my daughter gave me the tour, she's already been in this school for a year. Just getting in to the school it was a mad crush of little girls with neon colored knee socks and ponytails or the bangs over the eyes.
They have their cell phones in hand, and they run to their friends. I can't listen to preteens talk. They even txt talk. " OH-EM-GEE! Did you hear about my BFF and she's, like, totally..."
My daughter is standing with me, she turns and says, "Yes, they're all like THAT." Poor kid, she's never going to "fit in" -- but then again -- Mom and Dad didn't either. And we didn't get into any trouble. (I am SHOCKED by the things I hear via Facebook about my high school years, I had NO idea anything was going on, aside from the various nasty rumours that spread that everybody knows that trickled down. Sure it's everywhere, but there's a certain kind of ignorance if you're not in the know, you know?)
I must have aged at least ten years standing there, listening to 11-13 year olds and wanting to rip their eyeballs out. I am now officially, if it wasn't official before, an Old Lady. You can call me "Ma'am" at the store, like I said, it's official. I may have been one of the youngest parents there with a nearly 12 year old child, even, but I wonder if that's part of the difference somehow.
I must have had a seizure with a lapse in judgment, because on the way out, I signed up to join the PTA. I freaking joined the PTA?
OH WAIT, I did.
While we were upstairs just making rounds, my brain misfired and shut down. I felt it coming actually, while we were on the way up, as I do many times, this is the issue that feels like it could be a hypoglycemic or low blood sugar event, but I can't get the brain-power to figure it OUT, so I just end up wandering for a minute or three, and then I find myself confused, with no memory of the event aside from the aura that occurred just before. I definitely felt it coming, because I told my daughter that I needed to either get sugar or take a minute, but then I was cuckoo and clueless for a minute.
Seizures often begin with a brief aura (simple partial seizure)
lasting seconds and then becomes a complex partial seizure. The type of
aura is related to the site of cortical onset. Temporal-lobe seizures
often begin with a rising abdominal sensation, fear, unreality, or déjà
vu. Parietal-lobe seizures may begin with an electrical sensation,
tingling, or numbness. Occipital-lobe seizures may begin with visual
changes, such as the perception of colored lines, spots, or shapes or
even a loss of vision.
Complex partial seizures of the temporal
lobe often begin with a motionless stare followed by simple oral or
motor automatisms. In contrast, frontal-lobe seizures often begin with
vigorous motor automatisms or stereotyped clonic or tonic activity.
Extratemporal-lobe seizures may spread quickly to the frontal lobe and
produce motor behaviors similar to those associated with complex
partial seizures of the frontal lobe. Tonic and dystonic arm posturing
may occur in the arm contralateral to the seizure focus. Sustained head
or eye turning contralateral to the seizure focus may occur immediately
before or simultaneously with clonic or tonic activity elsewhere.
partial seizures often last 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Longer seizures
may occur, particularly when the seizures become generalized
convulsions. Complex partial status epilepticus may also occur with
prolonged episodes of waxing and waning of consciousness.
Before you freak (new readers) this is normal for me. I have had these episodes on and off since 2005, it was one of the reasons I kept pushing to see a neurologist, I thought something broke in my brain. I have no diagnosis, it just happens, and hasn't been caught on EEG. The medication kills the grand mal seizures but hasn't stopped ALL of these events. And, I can't tell what's going on when it happens, I would venture to guess that at least 50% of them ARE low blood sugar, that hits fast, hard and leaves me stupid, because I have been pulled out of them with glucose before. But, other times, it's just, not.
Like the time I was in the Joslin Clinic, having several hour injected glucose test done, I was just sitting there, relaxing, and then, totally brain-dumb, I could not answer simple questions. "Beth what are your children's names?" "Um." They tested immediately - 80 mg. I live at 80 mg. Not hypoglycemia! I was not allowed to leave the testing until I got a ride home or signed into the ER. I was too confused to understand, so I went home. I didn't realize until LATER that the doctor had witness seizure activity, and she knew it, calling a neurologist in, I swore up and down that it was hypoglcemia, until she showed me the chart.
(It actually happened during my first visit to the Joslin as well, not as obvious, but still. Makes me wonder about the connection between rise/fall of glucose and my BRAIN!)
So yeah, I'm used to it, but is it The SUCK! You betcha. No rhyme or reason, it's happened during vacuuming, watching TV, doing laundry, walking, writing a blog post, at the Apple Store (that was a fun one), at the school, etc, etc. Luckily, I get a warning and since I "think" it's low sugar, I immediate seem to stop, head for a safe place and wait it out, even if I don't remember that part later, I do.