MM - BBGC - Life After WLS

I have the itch.

It's a good sign when I go outside and it's 26 degrees, and it feels like a heat-wave and I have the urge to go walking.  That is a sign!  If it goes over freezing - I WILL get my sorry ass out there and walk this week.  I will.  

I keep giving the treadmill a glance when I walk by it to do laundry, but I just don't use it.  Between my laziness for ACTUAL typical exercise, I can't stand using it.  I am bored in about two and a half minutes and dizzy in five, and looking for glucose in thirty minutes.  At least outside, I feel like I have less of a chance of falling flat on my face, falling into traffic seems more pleasant.

Excuses, I haz 'em.

I also have a copy of Dancing with the Stars: Dance Body Tone:

...which could be the first exercise DVD I have owned since my VHS copies of Richard Simmon's Sweatin' To The Oldies and a Susan Powter one. 

All I know is that I had better get my ass moving if I want to continue blogging as post WLS "success" -- nobody wants to watch a train wreck. Or maybe they do. :x

I'm a sinner.

We went to the mall today.  The Lindt Chocolate store was gone.  I didn't look hard enough to see if it had simply moved, but I had a mini-celebration.  "Woot!  No truffles!  No truffles!"  I have a serious heart on for dark chocolate and dark chocolate truffles are my THING.  I don't buy them, they're not the SAME from the grocery store, I liked 'em FROM THE LINDT STORE.  But it's gone.  So there.  Fck you creamy melty chocolate.

However. let's discuss the irony of me purchasing The Complete Idiot's Guide to Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery (because I need proof that my G-D blog is in it, even if it's just a reference, because it will help me realize WTF I bother doing this, mmkay?)  and AT the register, "Oh, there's Godiva Dark!"  Yeah. Three bars climbed into my bag.

But, I paid for it in another form of indiscretion today.  On the way out of the mall, I was hungry. The kids and Dad went to lunch at Friday's, and since each time I've been there I have left SICK?  Not my happy place. I went and got my nails did instead.  Fck you Fridays.

By the time I walked by "you wan free sample?"  Yes, please!  Tristan was all done with the mall, frankly she was awful all day, and I just wanted OUT.  I ate approximately four pieces of "chicken" and maybe two bites of "pad thai" (not all free sample, I bought a to-go box) and spent the car ride home rocking back and forth.  I threw away the entire box when I got home.  I still feel guilt about wasting money on food like that, but WHATEVER.  Fck you "free sample chicken."

But, on the positive side today:  I weighed myself.  It's down seven pounds from that place in which I SCREAMED.  Baby steps, and little bites of chocolate.  I will never, ever be perfect.

I think I am ready to be put in The Home.

 
I went out to pick up a few things. Pull-ups, hand soap, milk, etc.  (And to look at cheap-o microwaves, since mine is currently dead, and K-CUPS because my coffee machine is dead, and... I gave up.)

I also SPECIFICALLY went to pick up a new phone for the house.  Specifically.  Because, I am sure you can guess what happened to the last one, which was bought less than six months ago.  Out of how many handsets we have how many left?  Zero.  And, the single corded phone in the one place it can be plugged into the Verizon thingie --- is not a good place for a seven year old with a chat problem.  I figured why not? another cheap cordless, because it's going to get lost anyway.  (You tell me, I turned this house upside down, the handsets are g o n e, gone.)

What did I forget?  The phone.  Entirely.  Even on a list, POOF!  

Although - Tristan was beyond distracting, and "OH NO MY BELLY HURTS I HAVE TO GO POTTY RIGHT NOW WHERE IS THE POTTY?" and we made it.  Phew.

Getting out of the store alive was a goal, and we did it.  But, I couldn't find my car.  You have to understand the process in which I do things like... parking the car, now.  I cannot just Park The Car.

I always park either AS CLOSE as I can or AS FAR AWAY as I can so that I can easily find the car since it's RIGHT THERE or easily remember that "Oh yeah, I DID park 1/4 mile away so that it would jog my memory when we leave the store."  

Today?  It's 15 degrees outside.  I stepped out to find the car with a three year old and walked in circles. Truthfully, I am lucky I remember to leave out of the same door I came IN from, because that's even more fun, when I am on the wrong side of the lot.  I looked up, down, over, around, and finally played the "meep meep" game with my alarm keychain.  Found it!  I got into the car and realized I forgot to buy what I went IN THE STORE FOR.

The phone?  Just an example of life as I know it.  I spend all day long like this.  I get nothing accomplished without a list stapled to my FOREHEAD and velcro on my butt.

I swear to you -- trade me 150 pounds of excess fat -- I WANT MY BRAIN BACK.  This is ridiculous.  If I can't do simple things at 31, just put me in a home before I am 40.  For those of you who might think this is OMGDRAMAAAAATIC... it's been a problem.  My memory.  I went to a neuropsychologist to begin with way back in.... 2006?  I was diagnosed with a Cognitive Disorder of .... uh... memory.  It's worse now.  Much worse.  The seizures and seizure medicine came after -- and I think have effected me negatively.

PS.  It's not a simple case of CRS now, it's everything.  "Did I turn the water on/off?  Why is the door open?  Was I supposed to be somewhere?  How old is my husband?  What's the phone number?"  EVERYTHING.  My brain is like a pasta strainer.

How Much Did Carnie Wilson Regain?

^{Via Star}

So there it is.  I post, because between the searches for "Carnie's Key Lime Cheesecake Recipe," and "Carnie Wilson How Much Did She Regain?" that are landing on my blog?  

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4DMUS_enUS263US264&q=carnie wilson recipe for cheesecake

I figured this is more fitting than the cheesecake.  

For all of you with the :O mouths?  Deal.  To be perfectly honest, many at her stage have regained all and more of their lost excess weight.  It happens.  And, she's technically still a success.

I guess I am not as :O about it as you might be -- because -- I am six years post op.  

I am married to a six year post op WHO BAKES (not nearly as well) when he's stressed.  

I see the world (even as someone who is surgically altered for life) very differently than someone who might be new to WLS or still in the land of the Magical Glittering Rainbow Blinky Land of "I Love My Surgery."  

Regarding Carnie - and "Unstapled"?  It would be a very different animal had she been followed around with cameras at a year and a half post op.

Pass the cheesecake.  (I don't have her recipe, otherwise I might post it, for real.)

No-Bake Key Lime Cheesecake

Recipe courtesy George Stella

Show: Low Carb and Lovin' It

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon wheat germ
• 2 cups plus 1 tablespoon sugar substitute (recommended: Splenda)
• 16 ounces real cream cheese, room temperature
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1 cup whole milk ricotta cheese
• 3/4 cup Key lime juice (fresh or bottled)
• 2 tablespoons no sugar added vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup hot water
• 2 limes, zested, divided
• 3 envelopes unflavored gelatin (recommended: Knoxx brand)
• 3/4 cup boiling water
• Special Equipment: 10-inch deep pie plate or cake pan

Directions

Sprinkle the wheat germ and 1 tablespoon sugar substitute over the bottom of the pie plate to create a "faux" crust.

In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the softened cream cheese, sour cream, ricotta cheese, lime juice, 2 cups sugar substitute, vanilla extract, 1/4 cup hot water, and zest of 1 lime on medium speed until well combined.

Using a fork to mix, thoroughly dissolve the 3 envelopes of gelatin in 3/4 cup boiling water. Do not let cool and move onto the next step immediately. (It is important that the water be boiling hot and that you mix the gelatin powder in quickly so it is completely dissolved. If not, you will have gummy bear-type lumps.) With the mixer on high and working very quickly so the gelatin does not set, blend the hot dissolved gelatin thoroughly into cheesecake mixture. Immediately pour mixture into the prepared pie pan and sprinkle with the zest of the other lime. Chill in the refrigerator for about 3 to 4 hours or until firm. Serve.

Hint: If you have any extra cheesecake mixture left over after filling the pie pan (I always do), put it in a pastry bag or heavy-duty plastic bag and put it in your freezer for about 7 to 10 minutes, just to firm it up a bit to the thickness of whipped cream. Then take it out and decorate the top of the Key Lime Cheesecake. (If it is in a plastic bag, snip the corner off.)

Weight Watchers Ad

 

This ad just popped up on NPR where I was reading the news.  It's, um, interesting.  I feel discriminated against.  I want a Weight Watchers For Women.  I want a Pink Ad.

 
 How many points for Corona Light?  I was thinking liquid diet, yanno.