Dishpan Hands

Mr. Coffee 4-Cup Steam Espresso Maker! Great, if you like piss water and burns!


After an unsuccessful attempt at contacting my espresso machine's maker -- the emails keep bouncing back -- I got desperate.  We are four highway exits from a Starbucks, and I am So. Very. Spoiled. by my machine -- and I am an addict.  While in Target today getting household schtuff, I bought the cheapest espresso machine they had.

You get what you pay for.  Opening the box, I realized  "Shit, this is totally manual."  :x  I worked in an espresso shop.  I know how to do it.  But this seems so flimsy.  I go to make a "shot" which translates to four ounces, and there's no tamper to smoosh the espresso down with, so I make do.  I turn the machine on - and it makes four ounces of piss brown water, almost like diluted regular coffee from a drip maker.

Attempting to make froth?  That's funny.  You have to add more water to the steaming-hot machine without burning yourself, and froth the milk with a too-short wand on the side of the machine.  It never got to the right temperature or texture, it was thin and bubbly, not frothy at all.

(Mr. triggered a memory -- we owned one of these years ago -- and the freaking thing exploded.  :x  Now, I recall this.)

Taste?  GAH.  I guess it might depend on your coffee, but, EWW.  This was worse than even a Dunkin' Donuts "Cappuccino" made badly.  :x  I added some CLICK to it and beat the hell out of it to drink it.  That was better.
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