November 2010 posts
"Dr. Amen’s CHANGE YOUR BRAIN, CHANGE YOUR BODY Questionnaire is a great start to helping you evaluate the health and well-being of your brain and body."
Nevermind. Sales pitch. Seven supplements to fix my memory and impulsivity!
- Highly probable Focus/Impulse Control Issues - Your answers indicate that focus and impulse control are very likely an issue for you.
May have trouble with Stress and Anxiety - Your answers indicate that stress and anxiety is very likely an issue for you.
Highly probable that Memory is a problem - Your answers indicate that memory problems are very likely an issue for you.
- And, so on... so forth, however? GOOD NEWS! "Congratulations, your results suggest that is unlikely that you suffer bipolar disorder!" That pleases me.
Healthy Brain Habits
Your answers indicate that you have very good brain habits. Congratulations!
And, the final?
- "You may struggle with Weight Issues -- Based on your answers, a comprehensive weight program could be very helpful, maybe even life-saving, for you."
Life saving. Life. Saving? There was nowhere in the test to indicate weight, nor issues.
In a few more words, because I know your skin is crawling because -
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF FAST FOOD ON A WEIGHT LOSS BLOG?"
"You know you won't succeed with The Surgery! if you EVER eat The Fast Food Ever Again!"
Bullshit. Anyway. Fast food happens. It happened today. I was at McDonald's, hungry, and I wanted MEAT.
The bread, I used to mop up about three full ounces of barbeque sauce from the patty. Then, I threw the bread away. (I do not eat white bread, and on fast food, I typically eat one-half of a serving with a burger or less, just to hold the meat in my grubby paw.)
The nutrition for the sandwich AS IT COMES -
|McRib Pork Patty
Pork, water, salt, dextrose, BHA and BHT and propyl gallate and citric acid (preservatives).
I ate the warm pickles first, because they were staring me in the face, atop the sea of barbeque sauce.
The McRib patty resembles basically a big, oblong sausage patty without the sausage flavoring. Minus the barbeque sauce, it would be quite a hideous food product. I ate the sausage-meat-product, because it was enrobed in sugar, and I was starving at the time.
I don't see how this was marketed as ribs, it's coagulated meat chunks, it's not, rib-like at all, it's not even pulled pork-ish! (Sorry, McD's I ADORE pulled pork and ribs, and this ain't it.)
But, whatever, it's off the menu on 12/5. Here's a good review to read, if you want to like it.
- Product - McDonalds' McRib Sandwich
- Via - McDonalds'
- Price - I didn't pay attention.
- Pros - Boneless mechanically separated pig product.
- Cons - Boneless mechanically separated pig product.
- Rating - Don't even go there, NON-POUCHWORTHY, MM
And so it begins. The season of over-indulgence or FREAKING THE HELL OUT IN CAPS!! over food. Where do you stand? I sit firmly in the middle, here, eating my half bagel with butter, while I write this post.
Everyone was on a diet.
(Disclaimer, because I gets The Shit for what I write, including the use of profanity: Not YOU, Not EVERYONE, dear.)
Curiously, lots of WLS'ers were discussing the "plans" for the week's eating's, the Season's Eating's.
And, I know this coming Monday, I'm going to see the "OMG! I GAINED 3-4-5-6-7-8 LBS! over the holiday!" posts.
Followed by, "I've got to gain control before Christmas!" so I can:
- Eat ___________
- Drink __________
- Generally Be Merry in front of friends and family
Lots of WLS'ers were talking about how they might just cut back to save calories for the holiday, others by dropping a few extras here and there, and more than a few, were liquid dieting this week, in preparation for Thanksgiving. A couple, fasting, cleansing, or forgoing food.
I wondered why?
Since we have weight loss surgery, especially in the earlier post op stages, it isn't really possible that we can physically do that much caloric damage to truly undo good work that we have already done. You cannot undo 100-150-200 pounds weight LOST in a single turkey dinner. You can't even undo your good work in your whole DAY of turkey carcass destruction.
Consider what you ACTUALLY ATE in the course of the special day. (G'head write it down. I'll wait.) Here's my day, by memory, at 8:45pm the day after, so forgive me if I have it wrong:
- 6am-11am - Coffee, soy...
- Breakfast 11am - Deli Chicken Breast
- Thanksgiving Dinner - Coffee with cream, Pumpkin Bisque, Peas and Mushrooms, Turkey with Gravy, Ham and Mustard Sauce, Coffee with cream, plain whipped cream (in lieu of the desserts because sugar kills me and I had already had enough in the bisque, I can tell at this point when it's too much!)
- Thanksgiving Evening, at the in-laws - Over several hours, creamed onions, 3 small chocolate chip cookies, Cranberry Wine, Sugarfree Cheesecake
- Home, late - Wheat bread, ham, mustard.... bed.
Even with the decadance of some of those foods, the "damage" was hardly any worse than any other day that I simply ATE without "diet head" thinking. In fact, if I might add it up, it could be a typical day. Just saying. Now, I was OUT to dinner, at a restaurant, where I was not tempted all day to pick at ANYTHING, so I did not get my paws on my usual pre-dinner noms. This would have been olives, pickles, cheese, etc., which would have led to no dinner. That's my usual routine. Truth. I don't know if this changes anything overall, but I did enjoy having dinner OUT instead.
Now, realize you cannot gain that much FAT that quickly. You have gained fluid, you have gained salt. You have gained um, poop.
You won't continue eating Thanksgiving day meal-style forever, will you? Then, you should be back to your normal weight in no time. Go to the bathroom would you? Come back. Feel better?
It really isn't such a BIG DEAL. In fact - WHY are you ON THE SCALE the DAY AFTER YOU HAVE EATEN more salt, fat and, well, butter than your stomach as likely seen in six months anyway?
Certainly it is more calories than you might allow in a regular day, understandably, most of us wouldn't typically have indulgent foods around all the time. (If you often have pecan pie, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, stuffing with sausage and apples, you may be concerned... but really?)
Is it really necessary to stress for a week or more for one meal or one day of indulgent over-eating?
Yes, if you're planning to cut back the food prior to that day, you I suppose I think that you must be planning to truly out-do the limitations of your stomach and your weight loss surgical procedure.
I read recently of people removing the liquid from their gastric bands for holiday eating, just to enjoy eating MORE and more variety. Taking a band-holiday to overeat. That is, interesting?
But the thing with a gastric bypass, we can't take a break from our surgery. We OWN it.
The only way you are going to cheat and overeat your bypass surgery is to graze and constantly push the limits.
- You CAN physically overeat in a single sitting, but that's absolutely ridiculously uncomfortably painful for many of us.
- You CAN physcically overeat certain types of foods in a single sitting, but it can cause super cool side effects like dumping and late dumping for many of us. (For those who do not dump, it can be hard to gauge when to stop eating.)
- You CAN overeat anything if given enough time. One bite at a time. Believe me. It CAN be done.
I'm an idiot, PERFECTLY NORMAL even at almost seven years post op.
- I dump all the time by accident. There isn't any warning in some foods.
- I overeat and I don't realize I am full until, I am walking around hoping not to spit up. It comes with owning a bypass. A few bites of lettuce today and I was nauseous. It just happens sometimes. <shrug>
- I graze. I snack. I forget that I should probably have a meal, and instead, it's a meal of... cheese.
- I fail. ALL THE TIME.
But, Thanksgiving was just another day. Just food.
And, the upcoming holidays and four thousand parties? They are just that, just parties, and just food. Food is not a big deal. It does not and should not predict my behavior. I eat when I am hungry, not because it's a holiday and there is a meal. OMG BUFFET!? No. Not really. There's the cheese and here I am. I will take what I want and have fun doing something else. (Like, realizing there are six different choices of TEA over there!)
The food is NEVER worth the feeling afterward. Ever.
I wonder what it would be like if we just let it go -- and relaxed a bit. Eating in moderation, within our limits of our diet plans but not restricting and dieting like crazy so that we are GOING crazy all the time around the holidays. How about it?
Which is where I was this morning when I came to make a post about "thanks" and found myself with no memory and postictal.
Oh. That. And, then, my day is like that balloon, "pffffffffft. I am/was okay, and then, half asleep, confused, irritable and waiting for tomorrow.
WHY IS IT ONLY 3PM?! Mr. MM, I told you, that 2nd job could shove it, nicely.
So, hey, thanks. I can't remember what the heck I was PLANNING TO WRITE, but, I lost it. Pffffffft, the balloon popped, and I lost every reply I had to the super-nice emails I got. (They will return, this is just how it goes.) And, when the "words" do return -- they flood back -- so piss me off now, and I may forget it by tomorrow because my mind is PURE PROTEIN JELLO right now.
Thank you, Elle. This is awesome.
I am thankful for you. And, all of us. And WE ARE WORTH IT.
PS. Can YOU count the BBGCs? ;)
The photo Elle used of my sort of before and after, was from the article I was in about hypoglycemia.
The official stats -
- Highest - 320
- Lowest - 149
- That magazine photo - 180something
- Now - 164
- Depending on what time turkey dinner is served, eat a light breakfast - enough that you will be hungry for dinner but not too hungry. Keep in mind that if you are hungry for dinner, it will taste better. If, however, you are too hungry when you eat, you will tend to overeat and eat too fast to enjoy the food.
- If your family is like many, there will be lots of food lying around before dinner starts. Do not snack on these before dinner; again, you want to feel hungry (at about a 3 on a 10 point scale) before dinner. However, if it looks good to you, consider saving some to eat during dinner. Wrap it up in a napkin, if you want. Often times, just knowing you can have the treat later, will diminish the need for it NOW.
- Only put on your plate the foods you love. Challenge yourself to pass up the salad that your Aunt Suzy made just because you don't want her to feel bad. This scenario is often an underlying issue for compulsive eaters and will only hurt you in the end.
- Eat your favorite foods first, when they will taste the best. As your stomach begins to fill up, foods will not taste as good. Enjoying all the good stuff first may support you in stopping before your stuffed.
- Half way through your meal, stop eating and check in with your body. Notice where you are on the hunger scale (see my article "Put Your Hunger on the Scale" on my website). When you start to feel full, slow down or stop eating. Make sure you can take home leftovers. For example, ask your host for leftovers - "Mom, this turkey and gravy is DELICIOUS! I really want to eat more now but I am too full. Would you mind if I take some home to enjoy tomorrow?" Again, making this happen and reminding yourself of it can help ease your desire to continue eating the yummy food.
- If you begin to feel overwhelmed with family, consider taking a walk, talking to someone you like, or even hiding out in the bathroom for a bit. It's often hard to let yourself feel the pain or sadness of a difficult interaction with family members. However if you do nothing but just be aware of your feelings, you'll ultimately feel better than if you lose control and have to cope with the added physical discomfort and emotional guilt of eating to cope with those family feelings.
- Save room for pie! If your family is like mine, pie seems to come way too soon after dinner. Remember that you can always say, "I'm not hungry yet, I'll wait to eat my slice later" and be sure your favorite is saved for you. Trust me, you will enjoy your pie more if you are hungry when you eat it.
- Spend some time giving thanks and appreciation to yourself, your growth, people in your life, pets that you love. Create a new family ritual or just do this yourself or with friends.
Come on. You know you love it.
Pumpkin Whip -
- Linda Farnsworth, this recipe snagged from WLS Lifestyles
"I’ve been around the Interwebz since before a GUI really was in place and there were text-based links for the BBS system that WAS the Internet. This was back in the dark ages before teh Google or even teh Windows. (Yes, there was a time before time.. I’s remembers it.)
With that said, I’ve now experienced something I’ve never had happen to me in all of those years – I’ve been modded.
And then, the whole damn page was deleted. Ha.
MM's WLS Products of 2010!
- What ARE the BEST WLS PRODUCTS OF 2010!
- Prizes? Likely.
"I'mma do the things that I wanna do
I ain't got a thing to prove to you
I'll eat my candy with the pork and beans
Excuse my manners if I make a scene
I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and I'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think"
Well, there is mine, kids.
Hi, how are YOU?
I'm a little bit pleased this morning. I weighed in. 164 lbs. Bacon, FTW.
I don't keep accurate records, nor do I log my weight OFTEN, but this is quite indicative of my last year or so. I started where I am now. The peak was about ten pounds higher than THAT dot would even indicate. I never actually logged it, even if I wrote about it. Ouch. I died inside when I inched toward 1-9-0 lbs. I started a blog about "Regain." And, it stopped.
If I can convince Mr. MM that there won't be any holiday baking (I don't, much...) I will be well off this holiday season to continue losing. Mr.? There won't be ANY holiday baking. Nobody NEEDS your shit. KTHANX.
I am actually logged into The Daily Plate right now. I have logged, uh, one meal. It won't last.
I'm having a day. I woke up with a headache and ringing ears, that soon enveloped my head in a typical MM Seizure. I sort of felt it coming, I felt sick.
Then, at approximately 1pm, I must have had another one. But, this time, as no one witnessed it, I only have the whacked out status update I placed on Facebook, combined with apparently dropping my keyboard on the floor.
I didn't connect the the fact that I felt foggy to a possible seizure until I found the Facebook status. And, this is usually how I know something happened, AFTER THE FACT. This sucks. I get either very little warning, enough to tell me to SIT DOWN and wait it out just in case, or none at all, with no memory of the event.
One seizure every few days to a week is enough. I do NOT need two in one day. I'm just about ready to scroll through and try to find every instance and put in on a calendar. The problem is that when this happens, I am either totally unaware -- or too foggy to put it down right away. I'm only sitting here now because I saw what I left on Facebook and was horrified, and that only one person responded. Still, OMG! There should be an anti-seizure posting lock on my keyboard, phone, and other devices. In fact I think there is ... under Universal Access... I can set it so that the keyboard doesn't accept "aaaaaaaaaaaaaa."
In other news:
This seems ironic after I got the phone call the other day to ask about the quality of my experience with Social Security and it's online system, and the follow up. I told them it was somewhat easy, aside from giving DATES OF SERVICE when I've been to the hospital. Except, I also mentioned that I never heard anything from them again, after I applied. Lo and behold, I get a letter in the mail. I guess this is my answer.
I have to GO to work to be able to LEAVE a job to qualify for standard Social Security benefits. That seems like a circular problem. If I can't GO to work, how do I get a job? If I cannot perform the job, how can I keep the job that I cannot GET?
I was removed from my last actual job in January of 2008, when my employer could no longer hold out on hiring someone else. I was, 29... just turned 30?
In the ten years before that? I had FOUR CHILDREN and probably ten jobs. I worked in various places for very short runs, because it always came down to child care and I was the primary caregiver. I left one job SPECIFICALLY DUE TO MY CONDITION. In fact, I took a "short term" leave and never went back.
I guess what I am saying is, I potentially could go back to work. But, it would require someone to drive me there and home every single time, because I cannot drive until the seizures have stopped for a FULL YEAR.
Plus, I may not function at the same level (scary thought) as I might have before the seizures started. I would never be able to take on a position that I am qualified to do in my years of being in retail: Assistant Store Manager, Cash Office Manager, Banker, even, Barista. I do not want to be responsible for a store's numbers on my own. One seizure, and there goes the daily deposit totals. I would be horrified and constantly rechecking. Not a good plan.
It's not that I require the government's hand out right this second, but if I couldn't type as of tomorrow? What would my options be? It's a realistic thought, unlikely hopefully, but possible. If I became entirely unable to continue blogging and providing income for my family from this office -- I still couldn't GO to work!
I don't know enough about it to really understand the system, but so far, it sucks.
I'll just continue paying my taxes and shut up now. LOL.
BIG FLASHING NEWS FLASH --- AD SPACE AVAILABLE. Contact me NOW.
I never heard of this author, nor had she been a presence on the message forum this post was placed on before. These type of posts usually disappear before forum members actually see them, because, well they are spam. "Hi, buy my book!" But this time, it's different. The product is perfectly targeted for our community, a book written by a post gastric bypass patient about her experiences.
How long does it take to publish a book? The author had surgery in 2008, and the book was released in 2010.
But, here's the main issue: the author states that "gastric surgery cured her food addiction." However, in an article published October 25th, 2010, she was addicted to food.
Wait, what? How? That's just... amazing! If this is true, where is the miracle cure that most of the WLS community is missing out on? And, if she's got the answer inside this book? RUN! DO NOT WALK!
Personally, years to realize that I even had an issue WITH food, I laughed at my pre-operative psych testing and nutritional counseling. "Is this really necessary?" When I shared the truth of some of my husband's pre-operative eating habits, it was looked upon with shock, not acceptance. One doesn't get to 370 pounds on vegetables. (And, seven years later, he still doesn't.)
Stomach surgery is not going to change what is inherently wrong in your head.
The author states that she's had a gastric bypass in 2008, and that she's cured from food addiction, in two weeks, apparently... as that Salon article was published in October 2010:
"I do make the claim that gastric cured my food addiction...and that's because I am no longer physically able to abuse food. My experience with gastric has made it so I get violently ill if I attempt to overeat. Is that everyone's experience? No, but it is mine, and that is the story I am sharing. I also had terrible complications from gastric, but I know that's not evereyone's experience either. This is just my story. I've often said food addicts are at a real disadvantage because unlike say an alcoholic or drug abuser, a food addict has to continue consuming the substance they abuse...there's no getting away from it. But one of the advanatages some food addicts has is that with a tool like gastric bypass, they are able to treat their addiction in a way not afforded to other substance abusers. Does that mean all of my problems went away? Certainly not, because as anyone with an addiction will tell you, once you stop abusing the substance, you're left with trying to find out why you're inclined to hurt yourself in the first place. And that is the really hard problem to work on, one that I am sure I will be saddled with for the rest of my life."
And... she's currently struggling to EAT 1000 calories a day, right now.
"I'll say this one last thing and then I'm done trying to make my point: I had my surgery two and a half years ago and I struggle to fit in 1,000 calories a day. At my worst, I was eating in excess of 10,000 calories a day. I no longer abuse food. It's just a fact. My surgeon says gastric affects people in different ways (hence all the complications I had)...and one of the effects, for me, is that I can't abuse food. And once I learned I couldn't, I slowly, over time, lost the need or want to do so."
A cure indicates that quite possibly, the problem (food addiction in this case) is gone forever.
This might indicate that the source of the issue has been altered somehow.
We are quite aware that the source of overeating and inappropriate eating behaviors is not located in the digestive tract, it's in our brains. And, so far as I know, the only brain surgery for weight loss is in the trial phases.
The author mentions several instances where she ate until she made herself violently ill, at a very early stage post operatively. "4-5 times" of entire bags of potato chips. Is the cure that vomiting and dumping makes her feel so horrid that she no longer has the urge to binge?
The author stated that she struggles currently, to get in 1000 calories. And, that possibly this results from her complications.
She explained that her weight loss came easily due to malnutrition. She had a very rough time.
I suppose I could find it very easy to say that I had cured my food addiction if I couldn't EAT either!
As gastric bypass patient who gets dumping syndrome and reactive hypoglycemia nearly daily on random food choices, I understand that you might do ANYTHING TO AVOID GETTING SICK.
"My experience with gastric has made it so I get violently ill if I attempt to overeat."
But, avoiding the normal side effects of a gastric bypass is not "curing food addiction," is it? Like the author, I cannot overeat because I will get ill. But, that isn't because I am cured. That's because I prefer not being ill.
Nor is overeating to the point of esophagus stuffing and subsequent nausea is not a cure. It's a WARNING. This is a sensation only weight loss surgery patients KNOW. Fun stuff right there.
Many of us chose the bypass because of the nasty effects of dumping, and it's slap-your-wrist function. "Don't eat that ice cream, you will get sick!" Because, it works. It's a nasty little reminder.
It's not a cure for food addiction. I GUARANTEE YOU THAT 100%. Perhaps gastric bypass triggers a bit of remission, "a relatively prolonged lessening or disappearance of the symptoms of a disease."
I have countless bypasser friends and acquaintances (raise your hands, or not) whom...
- fail to get in necessary calories or macro-nutrients
- have had complications that cause lack of intake
- eat sugar to fall asleep
- plan to eat crap at certain times
- eat inappropriate foods "on purpose"
- eat just enough not to get sick
- chew and spit
- lick salty snacks
- liquefy solids
- drink liquid calories
- So on, so forth, and don't even get started on the transfer of these habits to OTHER issues.
Many will find any way around the bypass, and any way around the "sick." For those fortunate/not fortunate enough to dump, they have a hard time not avoiding excess junk, as it's just so easy to eat.
Certainly there are other reasons as to why people become morbidly obese to begin with, not simply food addiction or other emotional causes. Such as medications, illness, and genetics, however:
"Despite obesity having strong genetic determinants, the genetic composition of the population does not change rapidly. Therefore, the large increase in . . . [obesity] must reflect major changes in non-genetic factors."
Hill, James O., and Trowbridge, Frederick L. Childhood obesity: future directions and research priorities. Pediatrics. 1998; Supplement: 571.
Admittedly, there are some of us who feel somewhat apathetic about food after weight loss surgery. I don't really care about the food in the way that I did pre-operatively. But, I would never say that I am cured, because the beast of addiction resurfaces in any way it CAN, even if it doesn't come out a food addiction. Because of this I must remain cognizant that YES I AM LIKELY TO PICK UP A HABIT. I am aware that my past as a morbidly obese person stems from over eating. I am aware that I have family history of obesity AND addiction.
If I don't fulfill the addiction to FOOD, I will fulfill it SOME OTHER WAY. Always. Even with harmless <coffee> habits. Think about it for a moment. Since you had weight loss surgery, if food is no longer your OBSESSION? What IS IT? I guarantee you replaced it. (Put down that crochet needle, I see you. LOL.)
I am afraid that some of us don't know this going in to our weight loss surgery journey -- and if we hear that "gastric surgery cured my food addiction" -- we're being sold on something that does not exist.
Unhappy, obese individuals may see weight loss surgery as an answer to their problems. They believe that their lives will become easier if they lose the weight. However, many psychologists believe that without therapy, the addictive behaviors could remain or even become more harmful. As the excitement of losing weight begins to wears off, the underlying unhappiness is still there, and an individual will still try to find some way to fill the void.
I challenge the author to write a book in several years, on the same topic, after reaching and maintaining a massive weight loss without transfer addiction.
This is a very long interview, and raises about fifty questions worth asking.
Related links -
Had weight loss surgery? Lost some hair? Lost a lot of hair? Considering giving in and simply shaving your head? You're not alone. It's quite normal.
I've said time and again, I don't watch much regular TV. I watch a lot of clips on the internet, and DVR'ed episodes of shows that I do enjoy. I am weird. I like commercials. I often wonder how they are targeted for the audience that might be watching the show in the area I am in. It's very interesting to me. What's Really Interesting are the ads that come on the local New Hampshire and Rhode Island Channels after the news. "Hi, Want To Chat With Local Singles?"
I have never enjoyed "soap operas." I don't understand them, they are beyond my scope of social understanding.
Recently, some soaps have been called out on obvious product pimping. (Not unlike The Biggest Loser, which I don't watch at all, but when I do, it's to see the product whoring.)
Check these for example, WITH FULL COMMERCIALS WRITTEN INTO THE SHOWS:
All of these products, found at Wal-Mart! Bing!
Who do they think they are kidding? Or does it matter? Do women (target soap audience, young stay at home women... older women that have been watching since the beginning of time...example, my husband's 70something year old aunt, watches one of these soaps daily, tapes it on the VCR we gave her like 12 years ago...) take this literally?
But, perhaps it's because the soap hasn't been infiltrated yet?
"Derided by critics and disdained by social commentators from the 1930s to the 1990s, the soap opera is nevertheless the most effective and enduring broadcast advertising vehicle ever devised. It is also the most popular genre of television drama in the world today and probably in the history of world broadcasting: no other form of television fiction has attracted more viewers in more countries over a longer period of time." (Allen)
Is this cheaper than placing an advertisement during the show?
OR -- is this BECAUSE everyone DVR's and fast-forwards through the commercials?
I understand that the companies might want to get the products out in front of more eyeballs, since typical commercials during daytime shows are ignored, but PLEASE. Really?
Is there not a smoother way of sneaking your whole grains into TV time? I mean, as a blogger, I am inundated with offers to promote the same products, from the same companies, including Cheerios, but we are required to make disclosures, and separate the fact from the fiction.
What if they did this during the Superbowl? COOL! Everybody stops on the field, to drink a Bud? And, then, FLASH MOB?
I had a conversation with my mother about Thanksgiving: the meal, the excess, the waste, and... Why Not Just Go OUT?
We decided "Yes." Dinner, this year, is OUT. Every other year, we cook too much, eat too much, waste too much and whine too much about all of it. Not just US, but so many get sucked in, to... Too. Much. Who needs it? Why should the day supposedly about THANKS become a stressful occasion?
It starts with the stress of a high grocery bill, "OMG! 20 pounds of turkey!" Or "Free-range, organic farm raised, non-hormone injected, hormonally balanced, non-angry bird?" Forget about it.
And, then you're inviting guests and freaking out!
Stop. the. <Susan Powter> Insanity.
Eat a freaking sandwich.
And this is where I realize I'm done. This is where I realized "my surgery, my TOOL, my wonderful gift" worked. (Please note my facetiousness.) The food, it just doesn't matter. I'm not thinking about it. Okay. Maybe it's the Topamax. But. The food? It just does. not. matter. It's not in my head to WORRY about WHAT WE ARE GOING TO EAT!
I made fun of my mother, for her first trying to choose a restaurant.
Should it be THIS, THAT, the OTHER? Then the PLATED MEAL or the BUFFET? But, you don't really eat that much? But, they have this on this menu, and that on that menu, and this would be nice.
She couldn't decide. I told her that I did not care, food didn't matter, I would find something edible anywhere. Chinese?
She called back. She found recipes. Perhaps we'd just cook. Maybe it's just as well to cook.
No. We. are. going. out.
Fine, then. She called and made the reservations, and it's official. We will EAT a buffet meal, stress none, waste much, and pay less overall. Except?
She's still cooking a meal for home. "We have to have it anyway."
I sort of get it. The smells, the leftovers, I do love my turkey sandwiches. But, do you HAVE TO?
And, then I noticed, on my fridge? A receipt for a full precooked turkey dinner for delivery the night before Thanksgiving. Super.
Y'all a bunch of TURKEYS.
(Because, "He HAS to have it.")