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Vague blog.

It's been quite a while since Beth wrote a vague blog. 

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Something happens in the cycle of a blogger's blogging - early in the blog cycle bloggers seem to give a shit what Other People Think, Say, And Care About What We Write.  

We tend to check out statistics, read our analytic pages, and watch our keyword searches. Often this lasts, for some bloggers it's a constant concern, particularly if our income is attached to our blogs.  However, it is often cyclic:  we tend to care for a while and then the care wanes.  

Early in my blogging "career" I made a point "not to care what people thought of me."  Then someone said something to me that made me stop and pull back, and I have always been a little more cognizant of the things I put out there even when it appeared I was careless with my words.  

Later on, I pulled back even more because I was told that I had to make myself more "brand-worthy" to land ads and that "nobody likes a girl who uses curse words."  This was before I knew that I'd be the founder of the Bariatric Bad Girls Club.  We sound pretty bad ass.  *shrug*

Oh.  Fuck.  You do know that I went back and initiated a full-on curse word replacement because of that.  It made the word bypass turn into byparse - and - the blog was never the same.  I also realized when I met fellow bloggers in person at events, that most of them are absolutely different in person than they portray in their written voices online, and I didn't want to split my voice.  My voice comes with cursing, it's part of my package.  No apologies.

The keywords that you're searching for don't really change much, they follow trends in the weight loss world and rarely get too personal, so I don't give much thought to it unless I see something particularly hateful drive-by and I wish you well and assume you've got therapy.  (Which, I hope you do, because really?)

I might call it blogger's apathy.  I just gave up caring what you (the general YOU) think about what I post.  That said, it was mentioned that I don't post about personal topics that often.  Because I Don't. Beyond the occasional Weight-Update or Beth-Brain-Update -- there are few personal posts here.  Why?  Although I say I "don't care what you think" apparently I must -- if I am not posting What I Really Want To Most Of The Time.  

It's blatantly obvious.  I really don't really give a shit what you think -- but I'm NOT posting.  This is a dilemma.  

It is time to take back my opinions and my blog.  And, I can curse if I fucking WANT to.  *peers at the stack of unpublished draft posts*

I am sitting on a couple of big issues that I can't post about and it's leading me to vague post.  Vague-posting is frustrating.  I am waiting on the go-ahead to share about one of the issues -- and I will verbally diarrhea this blog with it because I KNOW it's coming.  The blograge, I has it.  So long as I am not gag-ordered, I will share.


HEY, watch this!  I'm obsessed!  DANCE!


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