Melting Mama - Bariatric Bad Girl : Food, Drink, Product Reviews.

Posts categorized "Food, Drink, Product Reviews."

18 March 2013

Arctic Zero Frozen Dessert Review - I got time for this.

Amazon.com Widgets

I doubted it. I did not want to try it. I was told that Artic Zero was "nasty," and that I would hate it.

When I saw a shelf of Artic Zero frozen desserts in our local grocery store, I was half-tempted, but not entirely, because *FISTS IN THE AIR!* GUYS!?

It's ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY CALORIES FOR A WHOLE DOG GAMNED PINT OF ICED CREAMED CONFECTIONARY GOODNESS!

A WHOLE PINT.

150 calories per pint & all natural
Fat free & gluten free
Lactose intolerant friendly
Contains 8 grams of fiber
14 grams of whey protein concentrate
If, you eat the whole pint.

arctic zero

If you are a bariatric patient, you ain't eatin' no WHOLE PINT OF NOTHIN'. Even at my stage, nine years, I don't eat a pint of any one food ever -- not unless I want to take a trip to sleepy-town-next-stop-dump-city-with-a-side-of-NO.

I bought two, which cost me more than I would ever spend on frozen confections but I did it for Science! The blog. $4.99 each. GASP! I bought Chocolate and Vanilla Maple.

Last night I noticed that Some Child Of Mine had dug into the Chocolate and I had to save it from it's certain death -- and I stole it back for review. (Her review - "I'd eat it." Because she did. I stole it back.)

First impression, the product is solid like a rock and you must absolutely leave it out for a few minutes and allow it to melt a bit for best results. It freezes quite hard because of it's high-water level and it's not palatable totally frozen solid. Sccccrrrrraaaaaaappppeeeeee.

Once it's a little bit un-frozen, it's good to go. My first taste reaction was that of a frozen diet hot chocolate, with no grit, no textural issues, perfectly smooth. Another similarity might be a diet fudgsicle or the chocolate part of a chocolate and vanilla ice-cream cup.

It could use more sweetness to personal preference, however it is a lower-sugar product and I would NOT want more real sugar added TO it. The first few tastes were slightly bland, but it was better after that. I considered adding a packet of flavoring or something to it - perhaps a shake of powdered peanut butter - sugar-free syrup or chopped super dark chocolate would have done the trick. However I didn't add anything to it, and I ate two servings without anything on it - and was perfectly happy that way.

I chose not to write this review until today because I wanted to wait for the full "gut-reaction" from the ingredients - you know - in the name of science - the blog - the farts -

Here are the nutritional stats -

Chocolate, Chocolate Peanut Butter,Mint Chocolate Cookie
INGREDIENTS: PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, DUTCH PROCESSED COCOA POWDER WITH ALKALI, GUAR GUM, XANTHAN GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEA SALT, MONK FRUIT CONCENTRATE.

Vanilla Maple
INGREDIENTS: PURIFIED WATER, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, CHICORY ROOT, GUAR GUM, XANTHAN GUM, NATURAL FLAVORS, SEA SALT, MONK FRUIT CONCENTRATE.

I am pleased to say I had little to no reaction to the fiber in the product - and I react to EVERYTHING. There are many products that I cannot TOUCH (RIP Quest Bars, signed my gut) because of their ingredient profiles. Thumbs up Arctic Zero.

Next up, Vanilla Maple.

Now, full disclosure - if you are a "typical" dairy ice cream eater - this is not THAT stuff. This is a frozen diet confection for those of us who DO NOT EAT full-fat dairy ice cream.

There's a reason I can't eat ice cream.

(RIP ice cream, signed lactose intolerance via roux en y gastric bypass.) Dairy ice cream contains lots of high-fat cream content and mouth-feel. Also, many types of ice cream contain chunks of high-fat candy and high-calorie junk. This product is a diet confection and contains only 37 calories for a reason.

Keep that in mind and if you're going to add loads of crap BACK TO IT, why bother?

I'm going to buy a case of all the flavors via Amazon to keep on hand in my chest freezer for those ice-cold cravings. Because, sometimes I crave it, and I can't have it.

Pouchworthy.

Product - Arctic Zero Frozen Dessert
Price - $3.26 on Amazon - $4.99 at WalMart
Pros - Under 40 calories per serving, 150 for entire pint, 5 grams sugar per serving, 0 fat, 0 lactose, Fat free & gluten free, Lactose intolerant friendly, Contains 8 grams of fiber, 14 grams of whey protein concentrate
Cons - Tad pricey, urge to add stuff to it.
Rating - Pouchworthy, ^MM

Posted at 01:06 PM in Food and Drink, Food, Drink, Product Reviews. | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

27 February 2013

Yo-Bro - Powerful Protein Yogurt For Boys?

Yo-Bro. Got you some of that yogurt you like from the health-food store. I heard about it on NPR this morning, so I ran out and got some -

The First Yogurt For Men. The Greek Yogurt that’s high-protein, all-natural and great tasting, in a man-sized package. Specifically designed for the active lifestyle. www.powerful.yt

You know how I like a man-sized package.

It's too bad that the nutrition stats rock, 'cause this girl would totally try it, even though you probably don't want me to. Not only am I a girl, but a former fat chick.

Product - Powerful Protein Greek Yogurt
Facebook - Powerful Protein
Price - $2.00-$3.00
Location - Nowhere near here - send me one?
Pros - Zero fat, super high protein
Cons - Silly branding, although, I get it. Yogurt branding is SO SILLY. "Activia!" I get it. Boys deserve their own bull-branded red-colored boy-gurts or something. I am being totally facetious. Send me some. These stats are wonderful.

Posted at 08:27 AM in Food and Drink, Food, Drink, Product Reviews. | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

21 February 2013

Panera Bread Hidden Menu - Or - This is how to get a MM to GO to Panera Bread?

I was just fumbling through my morning routine of empty dishwasher, make coffee, listen to morning radio. I heard this story on NPR about Secret Menus and I stopped and thought, "Well, there's today's blog entry."

BECAUSE LOOK WHAT PANERA DID AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN CAUSE IT WAS A BIG OLE SECRET!

Panera (Bread, which I avoid... because it is a BREAD. STORE. CLOAKED. AS. A. SIT. DOWN. RESTAURANT.) now offers on the sly, teh foods that I can enjoy, and that many of you can also enjoy, but we have to play the secret game to get them.

NPR -

One thing you won't see on Panera Bread's secret menu? Bread.

As Scott Davis, who oversees menus for Panera Bread, explains, "This is probably the most extreme anti-kind of Panera diet you can have, right? It doesn't include bread and flour and that sort of stuff."

Davis says that the company had been missing out on a whole group of diners: diabetics and people who were cutting carbs or avoiding gluten. This menu lets the company tap into that growing health-conscious market.

"If someone never considered Panera before because the name 'bread' is in it ... this is a way of opening that door," says Davis.

So at its 1,800 stores around the country, Panera trained its employees to either pull out the secret menu card or scan a code that'll put the menu on a customer's mobile device.

But only if someone asks for it.

Here's my rant about this -- It's A Schtick, It's A Marketing Ploy -- to get foot traffic into the restaurants to "find all the foods" that are on the "hidden" but not-so-hidden-because-we-promoted-them-on-our-website-menus.

Source: mypanera.panerabread.com via Panera on Pinterest

The restaurant also desires that while you are there, you will add-on a purchase of a simple-carb from the bakery-porn-case of scones, souffles, muffins, cookies, bagels, or loaves of bread?

Shortbread cookies are my nememis. Thank you for noticing. Let's see if I can get through there without looking. > - <

Posted at 08:08 AM in Advertising, Commercialism, PR, etc., Diabetes, Diets, Diets, Nutrition, Food., Food and Drink, Food, Drink, Product Reviews., Health., Low Carb | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

18 February 2013

I love your nuts. A super fast review.

NO GUT FAIL = I LOVE YOU.

OR. When Beth leaves WalMart And Goes Into A Regular Grocery Store She Finds Food!

I love these little nutbars. I've been eating them all week. I love you Glenny's. My gut thanks you for making a NON-SUGAR ALCOHOL PRODUCT.

Note -

Ingredients

PEANUTS, AGAVE, SYRUP, PEANUT BUTTER, BROWN RICE SYRUP, SUNFLOWER OIL (SUNFLOWER OIL, ROSEMARY EXTRACT, TOCOPHEROL), SALT. MANUFACTURED IN A FACILITY THAT ALSO PROCESSES OTHER TREE NUTS, SOY AND SESAME. MAY CONTAIN PIT OR SHELL FRAGMENTS. MANUFACTURED IN A CERTIFIED GLUTEN FREE PLANT. NON-GMO.

Product - Glenny's Peanut + Peanut Butter Bars
Via - I bought these at Market Basket in the candy aisle next to the chocolate which I was considering - but I am getting them on Amazon now.
Price - Wicked good on Amazon. $12.40/case of 12, $1.05/est. each
Pros - Super simple ingredients, no gut rumbles, no sugar alcohols, no fiber gut death! Non-GMO. YAY FOR MM! (You really have no idea, I am SO SENSITIVE TO FOOD, I react TO EVERYTHING.)
Cons - I can't eat them all day, THEY ARE PEANUTS, high in calories, don't overdo it, silly!
Rating - Pouchworthy, ^MM

Posted at 03:08 PM in Food, Drink, Product Reviews. | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

05 February 2013

Product SQUEE! Coffee + espresso flavored whey protein isolate with ONE CARB.

The risk of showing me something I can't share immediately is this. I go and blog about it anyway. Now, you get this blog post with no links that makes you want to buy the product that you cannot have just yet.

Gastric Bypass Supplements - Click to Nature's Best - Isopure

Isopure - NEW FORMULA WITH ONLY 1 GM OF CARBS AND 80MG OF CAFFEINE PER SERVING Nature's Best PERFECT LOW CARB ISOPURE contains 50 grams of 100% Whey Protein Isolate. Any and all impurities typically found in most whey proteins have been removed to provide you with a great tasting, lactose free, glutamine enriched, state of the art carbohydrate free protein supplement.

Nature's Best set out to create a product that didn't hide anything from its customers. We wanted you to know that you're purchasing the best product available on the market. Our protein source is clearly identified as 100% Whey Protein Isolate. We didn't try to confuse you by listing a protein blend that doesn't tell you how much of the product is superior whey protein isolate and how much is whey protein concentrate or sweet whey or some other inferior protein source. Furthermore, ISOPURE contains 0g of sugar and is instantized so it can be taken anywhere and mixed with a spoon."

100% Whey Protein Isolate

50 grams of protein

Espresso or Colombian Coffee Flavors

80 grams of caffeine

1 carb

Would you be reacting like I am over here?! SQUEE! SQUEE! OMG!

Gastric Bypass Supplements - Click to Nature's Best > Isopure

I'm having a proteinspasm. Coffeeproteinmakers you better raise your game. We TOLD you - THIS is what we were looking for! Review to come.

Posted at 10:21 AM in Food, Drink, Product Reviews., Protein Powders | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBack (0)

28 January 2013

Hapi Fork - Vibrate your obesity away!

Introducing the positivity-enhanced HAPIfork! It is an electronic fork that monitors your personal eating style and habits and gives you cues as to when you are eating too fast. The HAPIform will alert you with lights and vibrations when you are shoveling food into your piehole.

I have a better idea. Add moar amps. Give your Happy A Charge!

Electricity travels through conductors - any material which allows electrical flow - as it tries to reach the ground. Because people make excellent conductors, minor electrocution is a common household hazard. Fortunately it is usually more surprising than dangerous and does not require medical attention. However, some basic precautions should be taken to insure that the shock does not interfere with the body's normal electrical impulses including the functions of the brain and the heart. Prolonged exposure to a direct source of electricity can also cause severe burns to the skin and the tissue.

It would work faster than a $100.00 vibrating fork.

Posted at 08:33 AM in Advertising, Commercialism, PR, etc., Diets, Diets, Nutrition, Food., Food and Drink, Food, Drink, Product Reviews., Nutrition | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

25 January 2013

Hungry Girl's 2013 Supermarket List

Hungry Girl just sent out her semi-annual grocery shopping list, and it's huge and not half-bad! In fact, it looks a lot like my shopping cart, times fifty?

I loooooove products, I like lists, I dig single ingredients not mashed together, and until you add things like Cool Whip -- we're good.

Download all four pages of the list like I did -- Download HG Supermarket List 2013 and take a gander for yourself.

Posted at 08:01 AM in Diets, Diets, Nutrition, Food., Food and Drink, Food, Drink, Product Reviews. | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

16 January 2013

Ceelo Green signs with eDiets to lose weight

CeeLo. Really? No, really? You eat flash-frozen diet-delivery food? Mr. Lo, you sir, are a multi-millionaire with access to personal chefs and high-end kitchens with additional access to likely The Best Healthcare in the World. I call bullshit.