melting mama

Why the sleeve?

The Vertical "sleeve" Gastrectomy is a relatively new procedure for weight loss and I was very cautious about getting any kind of surgery at all. So how did I end up with a procedure that most insurance companies still consider "experimental?"

Like most people, when I first looked into WLS, all I knew about was the lapband and RnY. And, like most people, I had this idea that lapband was "safe" and RnY was "dangerous". I also like the idea that the lapband was reversible. I figured that if I turned into one of those people who WLS didn't agree with, I could just take it out.

Of course, I know now that I was hopelessly naive and also fairly ignorant as to what options were out there and what the pros and cons are of the different surgery types. And, yet, after learning a lot more about it, my initial analysis of bypass held.

From Couch to Triathlete - A Sleeve Story

^{Watch of for this one. She can kick your ass. - MM}

Hi, I’m Marie. Some of you know me as MacMadame. I am one of Melting Mama’s new guest bloggers and it’s time to tell my weight loss surgery story.

Laura's Intro - Gastric Sleever

So, my name is Laura – I go by MeauxMeaux (pronounced Moe-Moe).  I am a sleever for life and a southeastern Louisiana gal by birth.  I am 8 months new to the post-bariatric surgery world.  And what a journey it has been…. I have always been overweight.  Since birth. (well, at least since the middle of high school)  I struggled with my weight back then on a “wow, if I eat poorly I put on weight easily” kind of level. 

Before surgery, I was stuck in the starving all of the time and when I was “good” with my diet the best I would do is maintain.  So, I maintained my fat ass up to a nice weight of 236 pounds.  Which on my 5’2.5” frame is still considered “lightweight”, but certainly was not doing me any favors!  I could not, for example, bend over and touch my toes or pick up something on the floorboard of the car while in the seat.  So, after years of binge dieting, liquid diets, organized diet groups (no names…), a stint in OA, and very active exercising with no significant or sustained results, I decided to explore surgery. 

I was convinced that the LapBand was for me.  Convinced.  100%.  Then, I watched a YouTube video of a fill.  Nearly passed out.  OMG.  Nope.  I abhor needles.  (ironic, since I am a veterinarian by trade) I only had 100 pounds to lose and I was apprehensive of the long term effects, complications and commitments required with a RNY.  DS was not an option for me with my surgeon’s group….I was too small. 

So, gastric sleeve it was.  On Dec 9^th of 2008, I had surgery.  It has been a life changing event.  I have gone down 80# in that time and I am in the best shape of my life…..so far.  Because there is always tomorrow, right? So, it should all be perfect, right?  But it isn’t.  I don’t see myself as merely overweight – I still see myself as morbidly obese.  I focus a lot (even though I try not to) on the 20 pounds that I have left to lose. 

I still don’t eat “normal” food. For example, the meal Christina posted makes me so jealous.  I am not sure if it is mental or physical, but I can’t seem to get my protein in with out resorting to 4-6 shakes a day.  I commit every day to have one nearly real meal.  I can only stomach chicken, ground meat, chili, lunch meat, etc.  I still don’t eat veggies. I rarely eat fruit.  I don’t eat rice, pasta, potatoes, snacks, etc. 

It is an utterly boring food life – and I worry about what will come down the line when I am at 2 or 3 years out.  Will there always be a stock pile of protein powders in the cabinet?    So, where does that leave me?  Itching for a therapist’s couch or a friend’s ear?  I am in a weird place, for sure.  My friends, family and co-workers can’t understand why I am unhappy about the weight loss and how “good” I look. (***blech***) 

I can’t visualize the person they see.  I know I made the right choice but I mourn the “old” me who had the option of drowning her stressors in a Big Mac meal or a bowl of ice cream.  Now, I have to learn to pull up the proverbial big girl panties and deal with life…..ugh.