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I rarely read blogs about weight loss. I cannot read about anyone's daily weight, not my own, not yours. Numbers will not determine my worth -- nor yours. So there.
Honestly, I read more blogs about blogging. I often read blogs about How To Blog. Yay for Problogger! BTW - if you're looking to earn a living through blogging, it's a MUST-READ.
On blogs about blogging you might find posts regarding how to deal with criticism and haterade.
"To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism… In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.” (Ferriss 2012)
As you might note that I have taken to posting a selection of haterade here and there and offering it for public consumption. I, uh... might take relish in eating haters. With ketchup. And, frankly, I don't give a shit about the sugar content.
This is something I took from Dooce.com, she is a Queen of blogging, and receives A Lot Of Hate, and at one point had a sub blog filled with only Trolling and Hater entries.
Blogger hate posts are hugely fun awful to read because anonymous readers/commenters from the interwebs are a bit unhinged, and get all conspiracy-theory on bloggers and make up their own super-detailed versions of our realities. Many of us aren't that much fun in "real life," you know. Some blog readers must be really, really bored to come up with the blogger haterfiction out there.
I don't want to jump to any sort of conclusions about any of you -- MM Readers -- because of course you are all Mensa-level IQs with double Masters' degrees and all sorts of amazing with perfection oozing out your pores out of your childrens and your dogs even shit perfect little doggie doodles.
And, you guys... you would never leave trollin' comments on blogs. Never. Never, ever, right?
'Cause that's really, like, eighth grade.
And, I know me some eighth grade. I have four kids. I hear allllllll of the drama from 4th-8th grade. Blog drama is a lot like 8th grade girls in the bathroom. Y'all need to get a detention sometime.
There are various thoughts about that -- some think "You are giving people what they WANT!! ATTENTION FOR HATING ON YOU!! GASP!" Which is true, sometimes, (you can usually tell the kind of troll/spam that wants it's name out there...) but usually people that send haterade don't leave a signature. They don't really want to be outed.
Some senders think that by offering semi anonymous jabs, they can get their digs in and be unknown. You're not always unknown. Using the same IP that you commented with, to post nasty comments... bad idea. Anyway.
Sometimes these are people "closer" to us as bloggers, but who don't have the cojones to sign an email with their real name. These comments and mails come with stories, "I've seen you ... I know what you ... I've watched you... I've read you... My family knows... "
You silly stalkerish women.
The straight up "I hate you, why don't you just die" emails are easier to read because they usually come from drive-by haters who haven't got a clue as to WHAT they are hating on. They just do it to do it.
They can get their jollies in knowing that they have effected the person who opens their comment, post or email.
"HA HA! She'll never know what hit her! I'mma send this here comment - 'WHY DON'T YOU JUST STOP WRITING ABOUT YOUR FAKE LIFE and your FAKE HUSBAND and your FAKE KIDS and your FAKE BROKEN DISHWASHER and your STUPID HOUSE and your UGLY FACE and DIE, BITCH!!' and then I can sit back and watch her shrivel up and stop!
Okay. You know. The effect is somewhat dulled after you receive ten or twenty or thirty messages like that. At THIS point, it's more like,
"All right, what's it this time: You think I'm faking my current weight?" Fine. *takes a photograph of the scale* What else do you want to bitch at me about? Seizures? Fine, you get your ass over here and drive me to the store to pick up my RX and we can talk it out. But, get it all out at once, would you? Here's today's entry.
I do wonder, sometimes, if someone less Humoured Than I (Really, I Am Full Of Funny...) would be pushed over the edge with this stuff. Particularly in this lifestyle category... niche, there are REALLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE OUT THERE that you are fucking with. I'm not so sure you should be poking the instable.
Try not to be effected reading any sort of nastygram. It's easy enough to just say, "whatever" and delete it, and it's also easy enough to copy - paste - and give it to the universe. I'm not going to own your angry. You can keep it. Thanks.
Instead of using your angry against me, go do something positive would you?
"I think your a fake... I've watched you since before my own surgery and didn't like you then. You're either whining or bullshitting people into thinking you have it all together."
Aww, cupcake! <insert inflection there>
I never had it together.
I never once claimed to.
Honey. Have you met me?
I am a self-admitted mess, but thanks for thinking I enough skill to even FAKE "having it all together."
That's a large reason why people write blogs, you know, because they DO NOT HAVE IT TOGETHER. It keeps them from cutting kittens or eating Cheetos. I've been blogging in various forms since before 2005. Does that make me a "fake?" Fine. Don't read it! Silly girl!
The bigger question might be why you're analyzing me.
I'm a very casual Dooce blog reader (meaning: I forget to open my RSS Feedreader, and open it to 1,000 new articles every so often...) but a fan nonetheless.
I was a bit stunned when I read the news of her break up, but that's not why I write this post. It's that Holy Crap The Hate That People Have For Her. One Google search yields hoardes of bloggers with the angry and comments on genuine articles that also have the angry:
"Oh my gosh, is this woman *still* whining about her life??? Give it a rest, sister!"
A few moments later I found myself reading comment after comment (after comment, comment, comment...) and realizing how close these bits of hatred come to things I've read about me. Surely, my love-notes are on a much smaller scale, considering I am a baby blogger in comparison, but it's the same type vitriolic spew from angry women!
What I have learned -- or Do Not Blog If You're Going To Do This, Or -- Not Be Willing To Get The Shit Kicked Out Of You For it:
#1 - Do Not Have Any Type Of Relationship Issue Ever -- Publicized -- On Your PERSONAL BLOG.
Yes, I know it's your blog, your place to write about YOUR-SELF, and it's the choice of other people to not read it, but, damn it if they don't bring them selves into your life and invite their opinions to stay. People are inherently curious, they cannot help it, and they luuuuuurve them a good train wreck.
"The level of my fame is so minuscule in comparison to actual celebrity, but that does not make it any less strange to read the words of strangers who are publicly delighting in my pain, strangers who are actively rooting for me to break down. I've known to avoid reading it, but then the amount of it became so abundant that it bubbled up and spilled over into my lap, and wow. There it was. I politely wiped it to the side, but then another wave hit. And in the middle of that next dump someone said that they were going to make an anonymous call to try and get my kids taken out of my custody."
Now that I've been there (...am there currently...) -- I feel for her. No amount of personal success fixes the pain of reading shit like that about yourself... over and over. It doesn't even MATTER if she's rolling in cash and living in an IKEA sponsored living-space -- or ANYTHING. It HURTS. Money doesn't = any sort of happiness if you're being torn apart.
PS. This stuff is EXTRAORDINARILY HATEFUL. If you are easily angered, go take your happy first and come back. Also, I know the truth, I realize this is NOT my problem. However, in the spirit of being open, honest and in my way of TMI -- you get to see what I see. I also realize that 'haters gon hate,' and all that jazz. But you might as well see it. I don't want pity. I'm not the one who needs it. Clearly.
Today I was pointed to a forum that was loaded with all sorts of anger, some directed at me, quite pointedly. "Why?" I don't understand, to be honest. There are some really effed up accusations, and I only read two threads. I copied it all and sent it to my husband -- because he was involved in the hate -- and I was deleted from the forum.