melting mama

Don't you hate it when...

 
 You have juicy gossip or things you WANT to dish about?!  But, you can't, 'cause it will come out soon enough, and it does not have to come from you.  So. That's that.

But, the harder part is, not blogging stuff that you really. want. to. blog. because it's PERFECTLY on topic, but it just isn't your place.  I know, when have I ever.  But, it's true, there's a lot I just don't discuss.

To be anonymous, man.

(Sits on her fingers, for now.)   

Things Not To Say To a Fat Guy.

Uh.  Okay.  I can't imagine some of these things ever coming out of my mouth.  Really?  Would you?   I'm a generally verbal-diarrhea-ish person, but somethings you just DO NOT say. ( I guess I've learned that -- I mean Mr. MM was told that he was too fat to get ahead in his career, to his face!)

http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/09/11/10-things-not-to-say-to-a-fat-guy/

10. "Maybe you should hit the gym."
Even if you're harboring the best intentions, you're gonna sound like a gym teacher barking orders during the shuttle run. Instead, go to the gym yourself, and welcome his company.

9. "I like a little meat on the bones."
We appreciate your tolerance, but that's like us saying, "We like the way you fart when you laugh too hard."

8. "Are your parents overweight?"
Is that a nice way of saying "obesity is a genetic predisposition?" While true, it's not the best conversation starter.

7. "Let's skip dinner tonight."
Not eating can be just as counterproductive as eating too much (except starving ourselves isn't as delicious). In order to burn fat, your body needs to fuel its metabolism, and not eating shuts that down. Rather than skipping dinner, offer up a meal of chicken breast, whole grains, salmon, steak, apples, peanut butter, turkey or unidentifiable drugstore-packet energy pills, all of which speed up the body's metabolism.

6. "Looks don't matter to me."
Then why draw attention to the fact that we're not Abercrombie catalog fodder, instead of not mentioning it?

5. "I never liked six-packs and pelvic dips anyway."
See above. Again, we get what you're trying to do -- show us that you like us for reasons other than cosmetic. But even mentioning what we don't have could plant an unwanted seed of insecurity.

4. "You must be really funny, huh?"
Yeah, you'd think that, thanks to the likes of Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill and Chris Farley. And, by that same logic, since you're a girl, you must be emotionally unstable and know nothing about football, huh?

3. "Muscle weighs more than fat!"
Wrong! Five pounds of muscle weighs exactly the same as five pounds of fat. Fat happens to be bulky, though, while muscle is tight and appears lean. This contrast creates the illusion that there is more fat per pound than muscle. Try this instead: "Muscle is heavier by volume than fat."

2. "Does this make me look fat?"
That's a loaded question even when asked to the sexiest of six packs. Asking it to a dude who's a bit beefy is only going to make him more even self-conscious.

1. "Don't eat that!"
Got a dietary suggestion? That's awesome. But, make it just that -- a suggestion, rather than an order you'd bark at your dog if he was slobbering on your flip-flops.

Matt Christensen

I coveteth your crocs.

It's probably a good thing that Beth doesn't have credit cards.  Because I want these.

And, I would love them in black, and silver, or just black.  It's now officially summah, and I could use a pair of summah shoes.  Would I be more of a geek if I own a pair of actual crocs?  Awesome. 

I can't label my NaBloPoMo posts, because I Blog2Much.

You knew that already.  I blog way too much - and when have I NOT posted at least one post per day?  I mean, that's the goal of the NaBloPoMo, a post a day.  So, let's just say, I have this month of posting each day wrapped.  I have 1,640 posts here.  I realize that 1,599 are probably mostly junk - but - there has got to be a few winners in there someplace.

So, anyways:  Today!  Another survey!

Via Stacey, from Soapbox Superstar:

What three things do you want for Christmas this year?

Let me first say - this isn't easy - and I have that whole, "But, then, I could really use - and, what if?!" in my head.  And, then, I feel really bad asking Santa for expensive gifts.  Oh, who cares!  Here's what I want from the big jolly ol' elf, if he ain't buyin' me a pair of boobies, I'd like the following:

                                       

Nikon D300 DX 12.3MP Digital SLR Camera with 18-200mm f/3.5-5.6G ED-IF AF-S VR DX Nikkor Zoom Lens

Breville 800ESXL Commercial 15-Bar Triple-Priming Die-Cast Espresso Machine

Vita-Mix 1300 TurboBlend 4500

Would it be wrong?

...to tell you I'm leaving my husband?  For Robin Thicke?

Well, I thought Mr.Thicke was a lot younger, and I couldn't admit that I thought he was a cutie-pie, buuuut, I Wiki'ed him (that sounds naughty) and he's thirteen days OLDER than my husband.  It's all good.  :::giggling:::

Just as I suspected!

The husbands' new glasses?  Instant "Listen To Me I'm More Important To You Now" Look.  Immediately changes his appearance and first impression to you.  Being entirely and completely superficial - I told him to get his hair-buzzed real close and to just GO with the impending bald.  Then, maybe a little goatee again.  Give the man a couple grand for some designer knock-off suits, and we're good to go.  What does this mean?  Nothing yet.  Although, due to circumstances unrelated to him - another location needed a manager as of Friday afternoon - so he's again running two branches - and has done so for a week - working full days in two locations.  A test, perhaps?  The timing, of course, is coincidental, but the company has yet to announce who is filling the still-open position that he applied for.  He's thinking it will be/or already has been decided upon - and announced at the end of the quarter, when things are wrapped up.