"This is for them snakes that smile in your face
Pardon my French
But I just wanna say..."
Thank you Lil Kim, you put it so eloquently. The song is not for the sensitive, so I cannot exactly post it here at 10:30am on a Wednesday, but I can listen to it.
I have had an influx of hater love recently. I get conflicting non-solicited and solicited advice about "what to do about that!"
Your advice varies widely. Some say,
- "You have the patience of a saint." (Me. Me, right?)
- Others say, "I would tell them right where they could put those words!" (But usually in a much, much nastier way.)
- "I can't believe you put up with this."
- Many tell me to fire back. This is where it is tricky. I can't. Much. The most I can do -- is repost the nasty thing "you" wrote. <shrug> Big deal. I can't throw a tantrum or shoot off 1,000 words of venom, even if I want to. I have before. It never goes well.
I am at the point now where I wonder -- why? What causes these kind of vitriolic reactions in my email --
"FOr someone that is supposed to be a supportive support buddy, you got a nasty attitude. I don't care if you block me. I got plenty of friends on your page that will defend me. I am not afraid of your fat ugly face. You have been blocked. and if you blocked me idiot, I wouldn't be able to email you on Facebook."
You write to tell me, "It's jealousy. Pure and simple. She/they are jealous. So sad."
I say, "OF WHAT?"
<steps out of herself to look in at the situation, scratches head>
Have you considered what you might be "jealous" of -- if this is you -- commenter/hater?
This goes for all of the love/hate relationships recently, including those of you who haven't gotten downright nasty, but have been inching toward it, and yes that includes those in the business/blogging community.
I would absolutely want to know what it is that you are seeing. (Takes out the tiny violin for what looks like a pity list.)
- Do you see the 31 year old mother of four, with epilepsy, who cannot get a job because she cannot operate a car anymore due to recurring seizures?
- Do you know I have had 2-3 car accidents? I totaled two cars? (One, which I just had to finish paying for?)
- Do you know I cannot leave the house but once a WEEK?
- Do you know that we are were/are a family of six, two dogs, one pregnant cat, on "ONE INCOME?"
- Do you know that DH is in college, and always looking for a 2nd job? (ALWAYS.)
- Do you know that the one time we leave the house -- we usually get groceries? JOY!
- Do you know that if my kids get sick at school -- I have to WALK TO PICK THEM UP? OR -- ask someone who lives 45 minutes away to come?
- Do you know that my kids have NO EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES AT ALL because I cannot get them anywhere? (Football, started last night - yeah. Didn't happen.)
- Do you know that my kids have NO FRIENDS in this neighborhood?
- Do you know we cannot get ANYWHERE by foot here?
- Do you know that my next door neighbors taunt my kids and I and call us "FAT" every time we go outside?
- Do you know it costs me $60.00 by taxi to get to the grocery store?
- Do you know I have no credit? NONE. AT. ALL.
- Do you know that DUE TO THAT -- we cannot sell this house?
Oh, and -
- Do you know that because of one of you -- I have lost income, time and sanity?
- Do you know that I had to hire a $300/hour lawyer because of your threats?
Now, with those things in mind, if "this blog" or any part of "MM" makes you IN THE LEAST BIT JEALOUS you might want to lose that right now. I have no other option.
- I started blogging because I lost a job, I WAS FIRED. (It's here.)
- I restarted because I lost my ability to DRIVE.
- I made the blog "business" because I saw no other way to help support my family.
- You're looking at "Pouchworthy WLS, Inc." Hi!
- And you know what? It helped. A lot. I could not possibly work out of the house with transportation + childcare at this point. WHO WOULD HELP?!
- I can now afford to BUY THE DAMNED GROCERIES.
- I PAY THE DAMNED MORTGAGE!
- Do you realize how much TIME I put in to ALL OF THIS? I won't even tell you.
- I put my sorry butt back in college!
What is it TO YOU? Why does it bother you? Why can't I try?
- To get a college degree, to become marketable to a company. I must work. It is REQUIRED. We cannot afford to live on one income.
Do you know that it was suggested by SOCIAL SECURITY that I "quit doing whatever it is that you are doing" and "go on the system?" The government wants me disabled, however, my husband "makes too much," so he'd have to leave me. ;)
I want to move to where I can catch public transportation. I may never drive again, this is ludicrous being HERE with no options. You have no idea, unless you are ALSO "stuck" with four kids.